| 1 |
“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me. (Exept for Mammon, Mercury and Daikoku.) |
| 2 |
“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments. (Right-ho, no bowing down to anything carved. However, why not revere something nicely printed bearing the likeness of a lady who is neither in heaven above (and might never be), nor in the earth beneath as yet, nor in the water under the earth.) |
| 3 |
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. (Heaven forbid! Never take anything but money.) |
| 4 |
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. (I shall. Who would miss labor if you can also LIBOR?) |
| 5 |
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (How true. Moreover, never stop being grateful for the name they bequeathed to you.) |
| 6 |
“You shall not murder. (No way. I am not Jack, the Ripper, I am Bob, the Ripper off.) |
| 7 |
“You shall not commit adultery. (Of course not, we have a prenup, so divorce is no big deal.) |
| 8 |
“You shall not steal. (Unless it is between 1100 and 1110 hrs London time.) |
| 9 |
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (Never ever, but in return no neighbour should be allowed to ever bear any witness against me.) |
| 10 |
“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.” (Do not bother about coveting: just LIBOR hard enough and the neighbor will soon have to sell them to you.) |
